Saying Goodbye

It’s true that I usually only send Sunday emails for your consideration. The last few weeks have been full of angst and unknowing and as usual, it has affected my ability to move clearly in my business life as well.

Because life happens. It throws curve balls and craziness our way sometimes. Sometimes, we can’t predict what’s in our future.

I had to say goodbye to my beloved car on Friday, May 16. It was a doozy of a day, but it also brought so much clarity that allowed me to start moving forward.

This photo is one from my trip to collect my personal belongings from my car. That’s the dashboard all opened up.

It wasn’t an accident. The batteries didn’t die (which I was told repeatedly would be the death of my car.) I didn’t just decide it was time.

It was rat damage. Chalk that up to living life in the country.

It was unexpected.

Last month I took my car in because the air conditioner wasn’t working. They called and said it was more extensive than something simple. Then it became rat damage. Then they continued to look and found more damage. Then the wait for the insurance company to do their thing -and they decided it was never going to be able to be fixed.

The waiting and not knowing is where the pain lives.

The waiting and indecision is a torturous place to park.

I also had some medical testing thrown into the week to really make sure I was on uneven ground… so there’s that.

What happened is that I finally said goodbye to my vision of my life with my beloved car. I accepted that I had to find a new path and would choose a new car that would make me happy and bring me joy.

And yes, a car is part of my happiness equation because it means freedom and represents a slice of my own personal domain. It’s a big part of my life.

I watched myself spin through a week of high stress and how I deal (or don’t) with indecision and lost futures.

What it made clear to me was just how easy and random it is to be thrown off course – and how to course correct.

I also had to rely on my “team” to keep me centered when the committee in my head wasn’t able to do it alone.